It had happened before. It's not news. But all those other times they came in the form of sunshine in my head, keeping me from forgetting. Or at one point or another they were voices, even ghosts that appeared once in a while with the very well known sentence. They appeared when the smile got bigger than usual, dragging me back to that sentence, those words.
This time, the words are not coming as voices or ghosts. They are coming as big, grey clouds. And they don't ever go away. They are not here to dragg me back, they're here to haunt me. And yet, to protect me. Every time the smile gets bigger now, the cloud doesn't appear, it grows.
And the cloud is starting to build those old things again. The cloud is remembering me what I have to do, but this time I don't want to do it. I want to make the cloud explode. Yet, I can't. If the cloud explodes, something else will come back to haunt me.
And it won't ever go away.
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It doesn't matter if it's not the first time. Or even if it's not news anymore. The problem is that, it doesn't matter how many times it happens, every time is a different feeling towards it.
Usually suck.
Remember a talk? The thing you want to happen, won't happen until you wish for it. It's a start.
Don't think it won't ever go away, cause it's not going away right now.
Make a Wish, M.
Someone's been reading a little too much Baudelaire...
You're a symbolist and i never realised it!
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