Everything I want you to know

I wish I could say things never changed between us. But that would be lieing. So here it goes..
I wanna stop this pretend show we have going on. We all know who did this. We all know what's to blame. And I can't say I regret it because those were days when everything felt right, even if they were that wrong.
I want you to tell me why. Why you did it, why you didn't talk to me about it. And more importantly, why we still don't talk about it. It's like we are faking it all the time. And we know how different we are now. We can feel the difference, you can feel it.
I'm tired of this, of hidding it. Of pretending it never happened. It hurt, and it still does. I needed you to be there and that didn't happen. Instead of coming straight up to me, you went to someone else.
I'm tired of you not accepting me and always trying to change things. I'm not gonna change for you. I've given enough stuff away for you by now. Please don't ask for more. I wish you simply said what you are feeling, for once.
It's hard to trust you now, or even look at you the same way. It's hard to think of you as important as you were before. It's hard to think you're not hidding something all the time. It's even harder because I know you won't tell if I ask.
I don't know how this can go on. It feels tireing and useless. We're never gonna go back.
Don't get me wrong. I love you. I'll always be here. But you don't let me be there for you even if I want to. It's almost as if I was the one that did something wrong. And we know that's not the case. None of us is to blame.
I miss it all. I miss the real us. But I can't keep up with this. I'm letting go of it all.
It's for the better.