"I tried every approach to living. I, I tried it all. I haven't tried every thing, but I've tried every approach. Sometimes you have to try everything to get the approach the same but... I tried it all, I bought a bunch of stuff and like, 'nah.. I don't like that'. I kinda came in and out of that a couple of times. Thought I'd shut myself off, thought maybe that's cool, maybe that's what you have to do to be a genious. You got to get mad, so if you get mad before the word genious, then maybe you can make the word genious appear! Yea.. that doesn't work either. And I'm in a good place, I pace myself pretty well, I'm 30, I've seen some cool stuff. Made a lot of stuff happen for myself. I made a lot of stuff happen for myself, right? That's a really cool sentence when you're in your 20's. 'I made it happen for myself'. But all that means is that I've somehow never found a way to synthesize love, or synthesize soothing. You can't get that, and what I'm sayin's that I messed with all the approaches except for one. And it's gonna sound really corny but that's just love. That's just love.
I've done everything in my life that I wanna do except just give and feel love for my living. And I don't mean like uh.. roman-candle-firework-hollywood-hot-pink-love, I mean like I-got-your -back-love! I don't need to hear I love you. You guys love me, I love you, we got that down. Some of the people who will tell you that they love you are the same people that will be the last to have your back. So I wanna experiment with this love thing, giving love, feeling love. I know it sound really corny but it's the last thing I got to check out, before I check out."
(John Mayer in Where the Light is Live in Los Angeles)
I keep rethinking the 'genious' part.. What makes someone genious? Are you born a genious? Is it something that comes naturally? Some sort of magic gift you get when born? Or do geniouses become geniouses? What is the different course that their life takes so that they become such a thing? Is there a reason behind genious?
I don't believe you can become a genious from one day to the other. But then again, I don't think they simply are born genious. What I find curious is that some of the people I consider genious or that are so by intelectuals are people that suffered some sort of trauma or had a difficult up-bringing. They had harsh lives but still made master-pieces.
Moving on from the genious-talk..
How do you make stuff happen for yourself? What do you have to do to be able to declare that you made a lot of stuff happen to yourself? What's going to be sacrificed along the way? And is it worth it? And how do you try every approach to life? If you try another approach, can you go back to the original? I hardly think so..
Now, which one do you prefer roman-candle-firework-hollywood-hot-pink-love or I-got-your -back-love? Somehow I get the sense that the first is just.. heat of the moment love while the other one.. Well that's the one I choose.
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"But all that means is that I've somehow never found a way to synthesize love, or synthesize soothing." that was about the part I said "huh??" and rewinded.
I don´t know about geniuses. I don´t know who can be consider a genious. But mainly it´s just someone who made something that would otherwise be considered non-sense, but in that particular context, with that traumatized individual, with those ideals, with that explanation, it was seen as something innovative and therefore genious. I tend to think of those fighting foruns about The Catcher in the rye whenever I think about the genious-discussion.
And love... well, love is that weird thing that everyone likes to fantasize and write pretty (or devastating) stories on. What I see when he says "hot-pink-love" is romance in the cliched way, whereas "i got your back" is another kind - not necessarily a romantic one, maybe just a buddy-friendship-brotherhood kind. Which is what we, non nihilists, are all looking for, isn´t it?
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