segunda-feira, 25 de outubro de 2010

Back to December

She woke me up. I remember that. She called me at 8 am to freaking wake me up in the middle of a pretty good dream. But fine, we were going to the beach. We hadn't done that in a while. I missed it. It was our thing, the beach. We had shared a lot of stuff with you, but not this. So I dragged myself out of the bed, put on a bikini, prepared my purse, ate breakfast, left a note and went down stairs.
I saw her car after a couple of minutes. Her mom was waving. I opened the door and there you were. Smiling, ready for the beach. So was she. It's ok, I guess. She broke "our thing" but that's fine. We were now officially the inseperable 3. I could live with that.
A couple months later and we were all invited to a party. Ok, you weren't, but we made sure you went with us anyway. That party was crap. You got stuck outside waiting with me - like a big brother would - while she left us and went ahead. And when we got in we agreed that going to these parties and throwing fake smiles at people was not fun. You asked me to leave, we'd go to mcdonald's, grab something to eat, come back by the time they cut the birthday cake. I laughed and thought "I could sure see me doing that happily. It would be somewhat of an adventure - escaping and coming back unnoticed" but in the end I said no. I knew you were my invitation to craziness and you were out of control, even if you were gonna take care of me. At the same time, I knew what was right. I knew it would hurt her and we'd get in a big fight and that wasn't possible. We were the inseperable 3.
By the end of the night, I found out she didn't care that much or she wouldn't think about it as much as I did. Too bad. By the end of the night, we all screwed up. And nothing was the same.
December was easier. What happened then? Remember? It was all about talking and laughing and getting to know each other. It was about spending every second possible together. It was about taking care of each other. It was all movie-watching, ice-skating, walking-around-town and having fun. We were good at that. Having fun.
Sometimes, I go back to december. I go back and remember - in a happy, non-dramatic, way - as not to ever forget how happy those days were. As never to forget how great of a trio we were. December was simple and naive. December smiled at us and gave us a present - that eventually we broke. December was the very beginning when we all started taking the wrong routes. We were magic.
I'm sorry if we screwed it up.
You didn't deserve it.

Um comentário:

C. disse...

He didn't deserve it. But neither did you.